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I have always had weird luck.
Last Thursday, out of the blue, I got a phone call from Phoenix Networks
about my long-awaited DSL service. Specifically, they said someone would
arrive at my condo to install everything at 4pm the following Monday (today)!
This stunned me! Two and a half years of waiting for this, with an expectation
of having to wait until sometime in May, when suddenly I get a call that in
just a few days I will be cruising the Internet at speeds I've grown accustomed
to working with at my job!
Ah! The sheer bliss! I could work from home occasionally. Downloads would
practially blister their way into my computer. I could explore technologies
I currently only dream of exploring.
The only snagged seemed to involve this little issue of working on Monday...
and of that day requiring a particular sense of caution and care, as we had
some very special stuff going on for that particular day. Still, after a brief
exchange of e-mail with my boss and some care taken over the weekend, I managed
to secure a bit of time off Monday after three to receive this bit of manna
from digital heaven.
It all hinged on everything working smoothly at work.
Of course, things did not go smoothly at work. We had a particularly
nasty event take place right up to the last moment. I began to despair of
getting home in time to welcome the Angel of DSL Installation. However, after
a little bit of evil voodoo coding magic (namely, ignoring some scholastic
conventions we trounced) I became freed to drive at break-neck speeds to my
condo.
Ever paranoid, I upon walking into my humble dwelling, I checked to see if
anyone had tried to contact me sometime in the day. Sure enough, the Angle of
DSL Installation had called! I checked the message...
"Hey, can I use that message? It's great! I hate advertisers, too. Um,
listen, I'm right outside your door right now. It's 8:30am, and I'm here to
install your DSL stuff. You can call me at [phone number] when you get in.
Good luck!"
WHAT!!!
I had absolutely no doubt that the installation should have occured
around 4pm, not 8am! I mean, after two years of waiting for something like
this, you do not get your dates and times wrong. I had even check my message
twice to be sure I had the right information.
Frantically, I dialed the number. After a couple of rings, I heard the same
voice that I heard on the answering service:
"Hello?"
"Yes! Hi.. I'm Joseph Van Riper, the guy you went to visit around 8:30am?
I was told you'd be in around 4pm."
"Oh, really? Heh.. man, that's funny."
I didn't quite see it that way.
He continued, "I guess someone told either you or me the wrong time. Well,
uh, I can come by a little after 5pm, if that's alright with you.. but there's
a problem."
"Uh.. what kind of problem?"
"Well, I can install the router and stuff, but it won't work. The CO doesn't
have the switch set."
Basically, to cut out a lot of horrid geek-speak, he could install the stuff
I'd need for DSL here at my condo, but it wouldn't do me any good because the
phone company's central office needed to throw a switch somewhere to enable my
service.
"Well, if it's no trouble, I went to quite a bit of effort to make sure I
could get home today."
"Oh, no, it's no problem. Let me check with my office, and I'll call back."
Eventually, he called back, and said he would be over as soon as he finished
his current job.
When he got here, this gaunt man walked in with some telephone equipment
and a laptop. He hooked a little router up to his laptop, threw some bits into
it, played with some of my phone wiring, and hooked everything up for me. He
then gave me my IP information, told me what to look for when the phone company
flipped their switch (probably in a couple of days), and he took off.
I could swear the man had, at least at one time, a serious love for cannabis.
But I didn't venture to ask; it really isn't any of my business.
So... I have this nifty DSL modem sitting on my of my computers with a
flashing light that tells me that I still don't have DSL.
And so, I have enjoyed another bottle of hard cider.
Otherwise, this past weekend, I managed to visit with friends. One had a
birthday last Friday, so we wanted to get together to celebrate it. I admit,
Melvin and I had a strong desire to sleep in, but fortunately we went anyway.
We eventually had brunch and settled to chatting in a loud and obnoxious coffee
house in Dupont (within D.C.). We wanted to chat in another place, but
it seems everyone else wanted to as well; we couldn't find a seat.
Prior to that, we visited the Phillips museum, who had a showing of
Honorè Daullier's work.
Many scholastics remember Daullier as the first person to draw political
characateurs. His political drawings and sculptures revealed a strong concern
for the working man. Unfortunately, it also got him in a lot of hot water.
He eventually had to turn away from lampooning political figures, because
the government started to levy severe punishments against folks who created
the sort of work he became well known for. He turned instead to lampooning
the bourgeois instead.
Although most of the drawings in the museum had translations for the French
that appeared below them, one of them did not. This one featured a lady with
a rather large nose, looking at a picture of herself as drawn by some artist
she had commissioned. The artist had kindly fixed her nose in the picture.
She has a friend standing next to her. It's truly a pity it hadn't been
translated, because I managed to figure out what the text below the picture
said:
"He caught me as I was writing my memoirs: 'Vapors Of My Love.' But I don't
think my nose looks right in that picture." (Her friend says:)"No, it's not a
good representation."
Another amusing picture showed two lawyers prior to court, assembling their
court attire:
"I think you could use the argument I used last week. I shall use the
response you used against me. If we should forget our lines, we can prompt
each other!"
I could write more about all this, but frankly you should read up on
Daullier yourself.
Even as I should finish this and send it off.
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